Dear Groening & Co.,

Thank you very, very much tonight providing us with the best tribute possible to Michael Jackson. Screw Dateline or anything, you topped them by providing us with what may be Michael's greatest work...A special airing of "Do The Bartman".

[link]

...God, how that took me back. You guys rocked for putting it back on the airwaves.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson, one of the most legendary musicians ever.

---

Dear DA artists from Udon's Darkstalkers Tribute,

Holy crap, slow it down, will ya? I mean yes, you made it into the book. Yes, you're proud. And rightfully so, as you kicked major ass! But do you really need to immediately show off your winning entries? Seriously, by putting it all up here, you're kind of providing us with less incentive to, you know, actually buy the friggin' book.

---

Dear Michael Bay,

WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED??? O_O

Seriously man, you had 90 minutes of one good "dumb fun" action movie there. But then you had to go & spoil it with an hour of unneccessary, unfunny comedic bits! Did we really need Sam's mom getting high on pot brownies, Jetfire farting a parachute, two shots of dogs humping, John Turturro's ass cheeks, Decepticon testicles...F***ING DECPTICON TESTICLES!!! Seriously, do I need to say any more after that?? And don't even get me started on the groan-worthy, humorless, borderline racist Twins...Largely because everyone else who hated this movie is already started on them as well. Seriously though, ya got Jar Jar 2.0 there indeed. >_<

Long story short: I want my nine bucks back.

---

Sincerely, SlyDante.


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...You know, I'm pretty sure I've done this meme before at some point, but seeing as how I don't have anything else noteworthy to post this week, why the hell not? Let the symphony begin!

YOUR LIFE AS A MOVIE SOUNDTRACK.
Gather up a whole bunch of music, and click shuffle. The first song goes with the first chapter, and so on and so fourth. Sometimes, the results are quite surprising and creepy!

1. Epic Prologue
Le Tigre - "Deceptacon (DFA Remix)"
(Oh, if only everything afterwards did sound that cool.)

2. Birth
The Bucketheads - "The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind)"
(Okay, my mom's voice doesn't haunt me that much.)

3. Childhood
The Academy Is... - "Black Mamba (Teddybears Remix)"
(I think we may be sending mixed messages here...)

4. First Day of High School
Moby - "Shining"
(Meh. It seems to work alright.)

5. School Bully
Delerium - "You & I (Slow Rise Mix)"
(Okay, unless said bully is one of those semi-hot girls who called me names, this is wildly inaccurate.)

6. The After School Fight
Tweet - "Oops (Oh My)"
(...And now it had BETTER be one of those semi-hot girls, or else this is getting really f***ed up right here.)

7. Graduating High School
Coheed & Cambria - "Wake Up (Acoustic)"
(Damn, this actually does sound like something they'd play at our graduation. On another note, my life so far has involved two songs from the Snakes On A Plane soundtrack. That might say a lot.)

8. New Home
Adam F - "Circles"
(Okay, one thing I have learned about my life via this meme: I have way too many old techno & dance songs still on my iPod.)

9. Creepy Nighbors
Way Out West - "Pulse of Life"
(Ditto above.)

10. Flashbacks
P.O.D. - "School of Hard Knocks"
(Sadly, this is a pretty damn accurate description of me looking back at my junior high/high school days.)

11. Mental Breakdown
Ministry - "Stigmata"
(Oooh, a little industrial for my freak-outs! Nice!)

12. Meeting An Old Friend
Seal - "Crazy (William Orbit Mix)"
(Okay, once again, please let this involve a girl. Seriously, I beg you.)

13. Falling Asleep/Having a Nightmare
LL Cool J - "I Can't Live Without My Radio"
(Umm...Wha???)

14. A New Enemy
Killing Joke - "Requiem"
(Yeah, this truly sets the stage for a fierce enemy!...)

15. Final Battle
De La Soul - "Me, Myself and I"
(...And this totally doesn't. Nonetheless, having a schizophrenic version of myself duke it out with some bizarro manifestation of my fears/flaws/etc. sounds fairly accurate.)

16. Death of Enemy
Duran Duran - "Planet Earth"
(Okay, why did my iPod suddenly decide to go into '80s mode all of a sudden? Meh, might work.)

17. First Day of New Job
Justice - "D.A.N.C.E."
(Considering that I'm desperately looking for a job at the moment, this will be how I feel when I get one...)

18. Starting College
The Raveonettes - "Twilight"
(Damn, not only the exact kind of music I listened to in my first years of college, but one by a band who debuted around the same time. Bravo!)

19. Falling In Love
Infusion - "Girls Can Be Cruel (Infusion Sq'Ed Mix)"
(Oh, ha-de-freakin-ha, iPod.)

20. Graduating College
Arctic Monkeys - "When The Sun Goes Down"
(Once again, it actually nails the graduation part.)

21. Facing Your Demons
Hive - "Ultrasonic Sound"
(An action song from The Matrix? Finally, at least ONE epic battle on this list gets an appropriate song!)

22. Growing Old
Tricky - "Overcome"
(Og god, I hope that becomes appropriate. At least in title.)

23. Your Funeral
Joy Division - "Atmosphere"
(NAILED IT. Okay, I would have preferred "Bohemian Rhapsody" or a Violator song to end my life, but dead-on funeral song!)


...So what did I learn from all of this? Apparently, that when I worked at my university's radio station & jammed my iPod full of anything in the CD library I could get my hands on, it actually ended up affecting my life. XD


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[link]

Oh, hellz yeah. Brand spanking new Futurama episodes are on the way.

And you know what this means, don't you?

He hath returned.






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In order...

Yay: THE RETURN OF MONKEY ISLAND. [link] Oh, sweet Jesus, it's finally back...The return of one of the best adventure games ever...8D The Special Edition alone would've been a pretty kickass treat, but brand new, episodic games? Oh Telltale Games, how I worship you...^_^

Boo: This recent announcement in the comic book world...[link] I mean, WTF??? I mean, with Marvel & DC cranking out Crisis after mind-boggling Crisis, I always thought Archie comics - Which I grew up reading as a kid - Would still remain mostly sane. Apparently that is not the case, what with this impending marriage.

But my beef here is actually not that it's a shameless way to grab attention, nor that it's a lousy way to celebrate a 600th issue, or even that they so obviously will not go through with this marriage in the end. No, the problem is that Archie has chosen Veronica over Betty.

I mean, come on Archie, WTF?? You know Veronica's a WASPy rich bitch, dammit! And she's been around the block a few times, believe you me! And Betty's the one who's actually pined over you, done a lot for you, been kind to you these 60+ years, & she's pretty hot to boot! So why Veronica? You're really just doing this for the money, aren't you? Goddamn himbo gold digger...Hope the Punisher comes back again to waste you for this...

LOL: The Hangover. Just got back from it. Damn funny movie, great little "mystery" story, & the cast was amazing. Go see it. Now.

...: R.I.P. David Carradine...[link] Quite a shocking death, indeed. I still remember seeing him as Bill for the first time...Full on badass, & an amazing actor. We'll miss you, David.


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[link]

...Yes, what you have read is true. Apparently, Hollywood has actually become so desperate for comic adaptations (& basic movie ideas in general) that they have actually turned to making a movie out of gum wrappers.

I am...Really just speechless here. o_O Seriously, this has got to be the dumbest & laziest idea for a movie adaptation I can think of! I honestly do not know how lower one can go for source material to mine. I thought my faith in the clever side of filmmaking was lost when they announced Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakuel (the mere mention of the pun "Squeakuel" inflicts pain upon me), but damn, this has taken the cake...What were they thinking?!? >_<

But in better movie news (& better news in general, really wanted to bump that last entry off here), I'll be seeing Up tonight. It does look awesome indeed, & the reviews are glowing, but the kicker is that it'll be our multiplex's first 3D movie. Should be quite an event, but I'll be the judge of whether it tops Coraline in 3D or not. ^_^

So until then (or next time, or whatever), I shall attempt to help brighten your day a little bit as well with the assistance of three words...CELEBRITY BEAR FIGHTS!!! [link]


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